Bittersweet Day

Yesterday, I received 2 bits of news: One that I had been praying to get and the other that I wish no one would ever have to hear.

We will start with the good news first: I GOT MY PERMIT!! That's right, after all these weeks of calling and crying and fussing and begging, its here. Next week on Monday I can go have my badge changed and become a Graduate Nurse again!! Praise God for giving me strength & getting me through this ordeal! Praise God for Branson who did so much for me and helped make this happen!

Now for the not good news of yesterday, let me set the stage:
I arrive at work at 0630 just like normal. I clock in and look for my preceptor so we can get the day organized and go get report from night shift. I see my manager walk down the hall which is strange because she normally doesn't get there till later in the day, around 0800-0900.

I hear people ask her questions like "Aren't you supposed to be on vacation? Weren't you going out of town?" Things of that nature. And I notice she is not wearing scrubs today.

Margaret, (my preceptor) arrives and she and Diane (manager) start talking low and hushed-like. I take the hint and walk off and go busy myself making copies of forms I'll need for the day. Margaret tells me in a serious voice, "Go meet me down in the lounge." That wasn't too out of the ordinary except for when I get to the lounge, it is packed with at least 15 other people who had also received the same instructions to "meet in the lounge"

So, I know there is something up at this point. My first thought is oh boy, some one is in trouble. We all crowd in (day shift and night shift included) and Diane and Margaret walk in a shut the door.

Margaret begins to talk and says something along the lines of:
"I asked you all back here because I need to make an announcement and I love you all like family, so I want you to hear this from me. Diane was nice enough to come up here on her day off to support me in telling you this. The thing is, I found out recently that I am going to be leaving for awhile. I have a cancerous lump in my breast and they aren't sure how far the cancer has spread in my body."

Oh boy, you could have heard a pin drop after she said that. After the silence came sobs of tears, myself included. I've only worked with this lady for 4 days but her patience and willingness and ability to teach me has been amazing. I have learned more with her over the last four days than I thought I could. Even without my permit, she took time to let me do what I could do and walked me step by step if I couldn't.

She's an amazing little Irish lady... feisty as can be! and goes 90 miles an hour the whole entire time! Keep her in your prayers... She means a lot to so many people. Her family, friends, co-workers, and patients included.

Of course her news is awful and so this is just a minor point about how it affects me. I will get another preceptor for days. Her name is also Margaret but she goes by Maggie or Meggie or something like that. She won nursing coach of the year so I know she will be good too... but I'm not used to her like I was Margaret. Its kinda gonna be like starting over again.

Oh well, at least I don't have to explain to her about how I can't do certain things because the State Board hasn't given me a permit! :-)

So, that was my day yesterday. Ups and downs. Bittersweet. And I'm emotionally exhausted.